Do It Afraid

Do It Afraid

I am walking a journey I never imagined I could walk, especially after hitting rock bottom at the age of 24 due to an extreme panic disorder. I am 36 years old now and for the past 12 years I have been choosing to be still in the Lord’s presence, seeking after Him as much as possible. When I was 24 years old, while sitting outside one day, I found myself crying out to Him for help, for peace, for understanding, for healing. I was hopeless, fearful, addicted to drugs and alcohol at the time, my marriage was falling apart, I had health issues, major credit card debit and every word that came out of my mouth was completely negative. My life was complete and utter chaos but despite all of that, even at the lowest point of my life, the Lord heard my cry and touched my heart in a way I truly can’t explain. A peace came over me that was breathtaking and it was a peace that left me hungering for more. I wasn’t sure at the time, what exactly was happening, but in that moment I had no fear…just peace. Coming from a girl that had fear her entire life, this moment of peace was unfamiliar, yet captivating and it definitely got my attention. Craving more of that peace, everyday I would choose to go out in nature, seeking to find that peace again and everyday I found it. Everyday God was there, with arms opened wide to bring me peace, wisdom, direction, unconditional love, comfort, healing and much more. I did this as often as I could, sometimes even a couple times a day, and over time I was able to walk through life without the bondage of fear. I was able to walk away from drugs and alcohol. My marriage was restored. My thoughts and words became uplifting and positive. My body healed and I gained control of my financial problem. (Read my full story in my book Living Still) Even after all that I had been through…after seeing God’s amazing power work to transform and heal me….after experiencing God’s peace time after time…I still resisted and intense fear overcame me when the Lord called my husband to join the US Army. I trust my husband and I trust that after much time, prayer, fasting and counsel from other wise men, that Tim was doing exactly what the Lord was calling him to do. But knowing this, I still was frightened by all the what ifs and all the uncertainties of our future. I was frightened because I knew eventually I was going to have to move away from the comforts of my family and friends, my business/ministry of 8 years and the home I had established in Branson, Mo for 18 years. It would have been so easy for me to not support my husband’s decision to join the US Army. It would have been easier for me to fight with him and say that he couldn’t do this to our family and our 2 year old son. Choosing to fear all of a sudden felt so familiar and all of the things the Lord had taught me over the last 12 years seem to be much harder to grasp. My time in stillness with Him turned into me once again crying out to Him for peace and understanding. The Lord began to speak to my heart intensely. He said, “Everything up to now has been preparation for you and Tim to be able to take this journey together. You are ready. Let go of all comforts to follow ME and to do MY work. Choose to focus only on today (Matthew 6:34). If you try to comprehend the entire journey you will become greatly overwhelmed. Choose to think on things above (Colossians 3:2). Do not let your mind wonder. Keep your mind on MY promises. Choose to be content in all circumstances (Philippians 4:11). Choose to consider it all joy (James 1:2). I am refining you and Tim (Isaiah 46:10). With great pressure and time diamonds are made, likewise during this time I will be refining you and Tim to shine brighter for ME. Trust ME.” Easier said then done, right? But I am pressing into the Lord and pressing forward. I am doing it afraid. At the same time I am eager to see the outcome of all of this. I know that the Lord causes everything to work together for the good for those who love Him (Romans 8:28) so I can only trust Him. I hope that our journey encourages others to let go and let God. Taking this leap of faith was not easy but Tim and I do not want to play it safe in life. We do not want to get to heaven one day and hear the Lord say, you missed my very best for your lives because you chose to play it safe, to fear and not trust me. We want to hear, well done my good and faithful servant (Matthew 25:21). Despite our fears, we stood up, pressed into the Lord for courage, did it afraid and now my husband is excelling in the US Army and we are currently stationed in Hawaii. Everyday I have to resist fear. Everyday I have to press into the Lord for courage and strength to carry on. And everyday I have to let go and trust the Lord with the details of our future. This season has been intense, more intense then anything I have ever experienced but the growth, the refining, the pruning has been beautiful and worth it. Thanks for allowing me to share. Be Love Give Love ~ Abby

About the Author

Abby

Abby Lewis has a degree in Health and Wellness and her massage therapy license. She is the author of Living Still and producer of A Breath~in Stillness. Her life’s work is to passionately encourage others to experience transformation of spirit, mind and body by learning to practice “living still.”